Top 10 reasons why you should never sleep with The Man

1) Playing dirty hide and seek with the surveillance cameras is only fun for a little while.

2) It isn't the size that matters, but what He can do with it.

3) And He can't do anything with it. Cf. Health and Safety at Work Act 1974

4) Your sexy police helicopter impression isn't sexy: it's shit.

5) What seems cool in a foreign country isn't such a good idea back home.

6) Big Brother is never as good with a condom on.

7) Despite all His promises, He'll never make you Queen.

8) Or famous.

9) Unless the phones are tapped, He'll never call.

10) It's not Him; it's you. Cf. Immigration Act 1971 and Immigration Act 1988.